Don’t Dwell on the Fail.
I recently had the pleasure of sitting on a panel of Actors, Agents, and Casting Directors hosted by Crystal Carson in Atlanta. One of the questions that came up was, “What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned for surviving in this industry?” Hands down, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is don’t dwell on the fail. What do I mean?
As actors, we spend so much time dwelling on our mistakes or perceived failures that it really plays hell on our psyche. In order to survive in a world of seemingly constant rejection, it is important that we let things go and move on. Here's an example of one of my recent "failures" that I had to laugh off. The day before the panel, I had a really great callback. It was a project that I would have loved to book, and it was in front of a Casting Director, I adore. I walked into the room completely off book with strong choices. I was ready, dammit.
While I was ready for the callback, I was not ready for the room. I walked into the casting office, and there were about 50 people crammed in the small waiting space. I knew it was going to be a long one. So, I closed my eyes and meditated and thought about all the things that had happened in my life to put me (my character, that is) in that moment. After about an hour, my own thoughts started creeping into my head. I began thinking about the scenes I was shooting the next day and the business I was in the process of opening. I tried to center myself again, but after the second hour, those thoughts crept back in and, being an impatient person, I was getting a little antsy. When it was my time in the room, I walked in and did my first take. It was okay. Not memorable, but okay. Then the director gave me some notes and then it happened... the fuckening.
At that moment, I forget everything I ever learned about being an actor. I forgot my choices, my lines, the project. If he had asked me to slate, I probably wouldn't have remembered my name. I muddled through two additional takes and was told, "Okay, thanks for coming in." Fuck. I left the room, tail tucked between my legs, sat down in my car and cussed out the steering wheel, and then let it go. That evening, I went to dinner with friends, and we laughed about how I had taken a shit so big that they had to light a candle before the next actor came in the room. I could have beat myself up, but what's the point?
You see, every actor, no matter how "good" they are or how much training they have, will sometimes take a shit in the room. Casting knows this. They understand you are human and, if you consistently bring a solid performance, they will forgive you when you fall flat on your ass as I did. Sure, this Casting Director may remember this callback for some time, but she also recognizes the dozens of other times I walked in and owned the room. As I write this, I have just finished up another live audition for that very same Casting Director. My terrible callback was not the end of the world, and the fact that I got called back reinforces that, even though I screwed one up, they still want to see me.
The moral of the story is this. Never deny the fact that you are HUMAN and fallible. That's what makes us interesting. And NEVER dwell on the fail because it just isn't healthy. When you stumble, get the fuck up, dust yourself off, and continue on your path.
